Dear Chums
The last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. Nothing much happened. IPL has kicked off- grander and bigger than before!!! But probably… I will need reams and reams of paper to voice anecdotes and comments on IPL. One article would do scant justice!!! THere were some opportunities that I missed out - Tiger coming out of the Woods or Pranab babu's budget etc. I guess it is high time to balance work and hobby time and give the latter some dues!!!!
Another event made news and I thought of making it the focus of my attention and piece. Mayawati held a mammoth rally at Lucknow. This created a furor in the political circles, with each party falling over the other in demanding an explanation and an investigation. No this was not about the much publicized “noted” felicitation she got from her party cadres… read on to know more.
In an exclusive tete a tete with Maya Memsaab herself….
MM- So, did you enjoy the rally that happened last week?
Me – I am sorry madam but I could not get a pass. I tried buying it but there was nobody to sell one to me.
MM – Yes, the show was sold out completely. If you had let me know that you were planning to visit Lucknow… I could have arranged for something.
Me – So nice of you madam, will definitely let you know if such issue persists in the future.
MM – You know when Sahara offered to buy all the tickets… I was a bit worried whether they will be able to sell them or not. I then realized that they had no plans of selling them!!!! The tickets were distributed to people along with DCD coupons.
Me – DCD? What does mean?
MM – Dal Chawal Daru combo. This is the most widely consumed food item in UP.
Me – But madam, what is this I am hearing about the rally? It has become really contentious.
MM – I have taken adequate action. I have already suspended the Principal Secretary and am just about to suspend some Police officers as well and transfer some.
Me – But do you think they were responsible for what happened at the rally?
MM- This is a conspiracy by the opposition parties trying to destabilize my powers.
Me – But beheji, what has opposition has to do with your supporters gifting you with a garland made of notes?
MM – Arre baba- what are you talking about? I am talking about the swarm of bees that came on the dais and disturbed my speech. I have initiated mass suspensions because these inept people could not control these bees that came in hordes and caused such an embarrassment.
Me- Oh my God!!! All along we were talking about two different things!!!!!
MM – They were no ordinary bees, not the honey bees but MONEY bees. This was definitely a doing of opposition parties.
Me – (by now, almost at a loss of words) But behenji, the bigger issue that is being raked about is this garland and not the swarm of bees. What are you doing to address that?
MM – The opposition always focuses on other smaller issues in life. They are doing just that. I WAS ATTACKED ON THE DAIS!!! Is it not a bigger issue compared to a small token of appreciation that my workers presented me?
Me – Well, that’s also a point which is valid madam. But if I were to prod you a bit on this humble gift that your followers have provided, could you kindly explain? It’s these smaller things that people are interested. I hope you would understand.
MM – Ok, just to clear all airs about that note garland. This was done by my supporters keeping in mind the national security and economic welfare of the nation.
Me – (completely flummoxed), pray tell me how does this relate to the garland made of notes?
MM – All the notes that were presented to me in that garland were made of 1000 rupee notes.
Me – So how does that fit in with any national welfare idea?
MM – These were all fake notes that had come into India from Nepal borders of UP. All these notes were being circulated in India. I have asked my followers to collect all such notes by paying 500 rupees for each note. These notes will now be handed over to the security agencies so that we can stop the counterfeiting business.
Me – Wow!!!!! What an idea Sirji... oops sorry....beheji!!!!!!!!!!!!! But one befuddling query that comes to my mind… how is this payment of 500 rupees being worked out. Where is that coming from?
MM – This is just one more project that Sahara is promoting. Mr. Roy is a very close friend of mine. He wanted to give back something to the society that has given him so much. This is just a small gesture from his end. I am just helping him in this generous and onerous endeavour.
Me – But beheji, is this not called as money laundering?
MM – Exactly babua!!!!! Money laundrying is the right word. We are trying to put in good money to clear dirty money!!!!! I have to leave now. I have a special cabinet meeting in half an hour to discuss on how we can avoid bees coming into my rallies in the future.
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