MAAZHA NAAV AAHE KHANdeshkar - KHANtroversy Fizzles out !!!

Dear chums,
Over the last few days, so much is happening in Mumbai around MNIK (My Name Is Khan). The Sena brigades (each cousin trying to outdo the other) have come up with rhetoric, threats and what not.
But this article is not about what is right of freedom, patriotism or sons-of-the-soil propagation.

1st June 2010
This about a post facto scenario when MNIK released… Yes!!! MNIK finally got released!!! It is currently just a couple of millions behind Avatar. It has become India s highest grosser ever!!! And on its way to become the world’s highest!!!!

Just yesterday, a special screening was held for the American President Barak Obama at the White House; making SRK one of the first Indian film stars to receive this honour (rumours are that Shilpa Shetty was invited some months ago for a clandestine meeting with the American President and Gordon Brown, but this is yet to be confirmed by White House Officials).

Autism has become a new fad. Parents are trying their level best to make their normal children autistic. This, they are trying by making their kids imitate actual autistic people. SRK has apologized to the medical fraternity that he should not have gone overboard stylizing his disability in the movie. He is now going to do some social awareness ads which have the message – Its OK not to be autistic. Normal is beautiful. Not to mention, Red Chillies Entertainment will helm the ads which will be directed by Karan Johar. SRK.. Karan Johar.. so very normal?!?!?


But how did this all happen? Just a couple of weeks ago, the movie was doomed to be a disaster with some political parties planning to disrupt screenings, if the movie were to be released.


Circa… end Jan, beginning of Feb
Raj Thackeray has issued a statement that his men will not allow the screening of MNIK. Uddhav Thackeray has issued a statement- Raj is not the rightful inheritor of rowdy politics. I am the rightful heir. Hence, Shiv Sena will have the first right to destroy cinema halls screening MNIK.

NDTV has announced a week long election process across the length and breadth of the country. The citizens are requested to come out and caste their vote whether they want MNIK to be released or not. The election propaganda blitzkrieg has been given a catch line – (Kh)Can we stand up for Khan?

Hordes of people across the nation have come out and caste their votes. In almost all places and regions, the voter turnouts have been much better than what was seen during the last General Elections!!!!!. Psepologists across the nation are still wondering about this miracle.

Last heard on this front was that Dr. Prannoy Roy was planning to buy out the Election Commission of India and run the General Elections for the country after this grand scaled success and experience.
While all this was happening, our Badshah Khan was not sitting idle. He knew that there has to be a way to appease the Senas and also to salvage the fate of the movie at the box office.


The following were the salient features of his press conference, which was called after his day-long meeting with Raj Thackeray.
1. MAAZHA NAAV AAHE KHANDESHKAR - this will be the version of the movie that will be released in Mumbai and Maharashtra. The movie will be given a tax exemption as it showcases the struggles of a Mumbai based Maharashtrian man who is tormented by Americans because he is from Maharashtra and how he fights back.. Manhattan will be shown as Mumbai and New York will be shown to be as New Mumbai in the story. The story and dialogues will be suitably modified to substantiate the modified script.

2. Shah Rukh Khan has acknowledged the fact that Raj Thackeray is like his elder brother (though SRK is elder of the two). That he was always inspired by Raj’s personality and hence used that name as his screen name in all his successful movies (although Raj was a nobody when DDLJ was released… but who cares).

3. Kolkatta Knight Riders will get their Pakistani players for the current season of IPL. It s just that SRK has given a caveat that with so many talented players in the team, some may just end up doing rounds providing water and help the team in other ways.

4. Shah Rukh Khan has condemned the divisive politics of the Shiv Sena. Raj has assured SRK that the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) is firmly behind him and that nobody will be able to disrupt the screenings of MNIK.

5. SRK, being his humble self, has pledged a part of the collections of MNIK towards Maharashtra Nav Nirman Trust.

6. SRK has promptly agreed to be a brand ambassador for Maharashtra State. This will not be under the aegis of the current Congress Government. He has pledged to campaign for MNS in the next state elections.

JAI HIND
JAI MAHARASHTRA
In that order, always, hopefully…
Sriky