MAAZHA NAAV AAHE KHANdeshkar - KHANtroversy Fizzles out !!!

Dear chums,
Over the last few days, so much is happening in Mumbai around MNIK (My Name Is Khan). The Sena brigades (each cousin trying to outdo the other) have come up with rhetoric, threats and what not.
But this article is not about what is right of freedom, patriotism or sons-of-the-soil propagation.

1st June 2010
This about a post facto scenario when MNIK released… Yes!!! MNIK finally got released!!! It is currently just a couple of millions behind Avatar. It has become India s highest grosser ever!!! And on its way to become the world’s highest!!!!

Just yesterday, a special screening was held for the American President Barak Obama at the White House; making SRK one of the first Indian film stars to receive this honour (rumours are that Shilpa Shetty was invited some months ago for a clandestine meeting with the American President and Gordon Brown, but this is yet to be confirmed by White House Officials).

Autism has become a new fad. Parents are trying their level best to make their normal children autistic. This, they are trying by making their kids imitate actual autistic people. SRK has apologized to the medical fraternity that he should not have gone overboard stylizing his disability in the movie. He is now going to do some social awareness ads which have the message – Its OK not to be autistic. Normal is beautiful. Not to mention, Red Chillies Entertainment will helm the ads which will be directed by Karan Johar. SRK.. Karan Johar.. so very normal?!?!?


But how did this all happen? Just a couple of weeks ago, the movie was doomed to be a disaster with some political parties planning to disrupt screenings, if the movie were to be released.


Circa… end Jan, beginning of Feb
Raj Thackeray has issued a statement that his men will not allow the screening of MNIK. Uddhav Thackeray has issued a statement- Raj is not the rightful inheritor of rowdy politics. I am the rightful heir. Hence, Shiv Sena will have the first right to destroy cinema halls screening MNIK.

NDTV has announced a week long election process across the length and breadth of the country. The citizens are requested to come out and caste their vote whether they want MNIK to be released or not. The election propaganda blitzkrieg has been given a catch line – (Kh)Can we stand up for Khan?

Hordes of people across the nation have come out and caste their votes. In almost all places and regions, the voter turnouts have been much better than what was seen during the last General Elections!!!!!. Psepologists across the nation are still wondering about this miracle.

Last heard on this front was that Dr. Prannoy Roy was planning to buy out the Election Commission of India and run the General Elections for the country after this grand scaled success and experience.
While all this was happening, our Badshah Khan was not sitting idle. He knew that there has to be a way to appease the Senas and also to salvage the fate of the movie at the box office.


The following were the salient features of his press conference, which was called after his day-long meeting with Raj Thackeray.
1. MAAZHA NAAV AAHE KHANDESHKAR - this will be the version of the movie that will be released in Mumbai and Maharashtra. The movie will be given a tax exemption as it showcases the struggles of a Mumbai based Maharashtrian man who is tormented by Americans because he is from Maharashtra and how he fights back.. Manhattan will be shown as Mumbai and New York will be shown to be as New Mumbai in the story. The story and dialogues will be suitably modified to substantiate the modified script.

2. Shah Rukh Khan has acknowledged the fact that Raj Thackeray is like his elder brother (though SRK is elder of the two). That he was always inspired by Raj’s personality and hence used that name as his screen name in all his successful movies (although Raj was a nobody when DDLJ was released… but who cares).

3. Kolkatta Knight Riders will get their Pakistani players for the current season of IPL. It s just that SRK has given a caveat that with so many talented players in the team, some may just end up doing rounds providing water and help the team in other ways.

4. Shah Rukh Khan has condemned the divisive politics of the Shiv Sena. Raj has assured SRK that the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) is firmly behind him and that nobody will be able to disrupt the screenings of MNIK.

5. SRK, being his humble self, has pledged a part of the collections of MNIK towards Maharashtra Nav Nirman Trust.

6. SRK has promptly agreed to be a brand ambassador for Maharashtra State. This will not be under the aegis of the current Congress Government. He has pledged to campaign for MNS in the next state elections.

JAI HIND
JAI MAHARASHTRA
In that order, always, hopefully…
Sriky

Jet Set Go.... Raj makes them Fret.... Set..... Bow!!!!!!!!!

Hello All,

Skimming through the news of the last couple of weeks, of the antics of Raj Thackeray, his high voltage arrest-bail-arrest drama, my eyes also caught one more incident.
In my quiet, silent and quite-so-stately hotel room, I was going through the phenomenal emergence of Indian billionaires. Here I refer to the Business World magazine, 30th June 2008. Pretty old and stale news, you might wonder. But I have never claimed to be an updated personality.
Well, this article is not about my forced impoverished lifestyle. One article in this magazine, “Shadowy Wealth”, focuses on the not-so-righteous ways of people investing their ill (?) earned or tax repugnance nature forcing them into benami investments.
Of the salient notes, this article covers how the D Gang could have made it to the billionaire club, if their wealth could be measured and legitimized. One paragraph caught my attention. From the magazine, I quote (page 98), for records sake:-

Going offshore has its own set of difficulties. Take Jet Airways, in which a Maratha strong man is alleged to have a stake. At one time, the airline was also accused of receiving funds from the D-company, which had also led to delays in the US granting it permission to fly in. According to Jet, the equity of the company-other than that sold in a public offering-are held by a company incorporated in the Isle of Man , and owned by the airline’s chairman Naresh Goyal.
But after months of investigation, the NDA government gave Jet Airways a clean chit over the controversy of its ownership and the alleged links to the underworld; its inquiries hit a dead end in the Isle of Man, where the banking secrecy laws are stringent. The US has also cleared the airline, and it now flies to several American cities. Suspicions persist, however, since the Government still does not know all the owners of the airline.

Also, at the around the same time, I read in the news about the high street drama that unfolded when Jet Airways terminated services of some of their employees. How the employees approached Raj Thackeray, a Maratha strong man (to those uninitiated ones only, cerebrally blessed readers please kindly ignore) and how he raised his concern and voice (and his men threatened to raise their hands).
Overnight, Naresh Goyal, the head honcho of Jet Airways, does a vault face and takes back all the sacked employees. That, if his employees were not happy, he was not happy, if they had sleepless nights, he could not sleep, Naresh Goyal cut a very gallant and messianic figure. Raj Thackeray also cut a very positive impression (also got some good sound bytes!!!) for his onerous assistance to help the beleaguered Jet employees.

This story makes a good read for an intelligent reader (which you are, else you would not have spent this much time during office hours). But alas, for some of the unfortunate among you, who are not as cerebrally blessed like others, your stupidity might force you to match the text marked in red with another set of text marked in red. The worse among you would actually start thinking that the article published in a weekly edition of 30th June was much before the Jet employees’ imbroglio.

So just like the Mel Gibson character in The Conspiracy Theory, your unused, lazy brain might start adding two and two making it twenty two. What emerged as a corporate-political one upmanship battle, a real time drama could have been concocted for both parties involved to gain mileage. At the risk of losing readership, may I also add that some of my worst readers (ones whose cerebral capability could be matched to the Dodos), may also try to figure that some stylishly attired; conspicuously well endowed (financially) aviation minister would suddenly step in the ruckus. He would then get an already nose-deep-in-debt Jet Airways another additional life line of credit for ATF.
I am not saying anything. For the refined readers of mine (who I would foolishly like to believe, are a majority), this is just another piece of irrelevant crap of two unrelated events that I have unsuccessfully tried to link. But for that minority of some, well I leave it to their imagination …to imagine the real story behind the scenes….if at all there was any….

Jet employees receiving slips pink,
Says the company, was an attempt to shrink,
But the management never did think,
That it would all change in a matter of a wink,

Employees get a new face of hope,
Raj agrees to throw in a saving rope,
Promises jobs back for all his Jet brothers and sisters,
But advises them to address him as Saheb and not some mister

sriky