RAJANOMICS Simplified!!!

After taking charge as the RBI Governor, the suave and debonair Dr. Raghuram Rajan made his first move this week. A lot of mega surprises were expected from this Financial Eye Candy (Shobha De' s eulogies), Dr Rajan came up with many rabbits from his hat!!!

On the day when he was appointed the Governor of the Reserve Bank of India, Dr. Rajan had categorically clarified," I have no magic wand that can solve all our problems". Sooner than he had said these words, the Government swung into action. 

Dr. Rajan has let loose some drastic measures to curb inflation, control vegetable prices stabilize the Rupee against the Dollar and much more. 

Presenting in layman terms, what the RBI Governor unleashed yesterday:-

1. A first perhaps for the Reserve Bank of India - Dr. Rajan has instructed the Government of India to appoint Rohit Shetty as the National Films Development Corporation (NFDC). As the head of NFDC, Rohit is being commissioned to direct 3 movies per annum for the next 5 years. This move has come after the stupendous success that Chennai Express has achieved at the box office. Government hopes to garner significant funds into its coffers as all the movies will be multilingual and tax free. 
2. Dr. Rajan has decided to isolate Bappi Lahiri into quarantine. His movements will be very restrictive. This move was had to be taken after the much adorned singer refused to obey Government instructions of restrictive gold purchasing. Rajan hopes that this move will significantly stem the gold purchase and lead to stability of Balance of Payment. 
3. Taking inspiration from the recent IPL betting scandal, Dr. Rajan has instructed the Sports Ministry to immediately come up with a proposal to legalize cricket betting. This is being touted as a master stroke by the RBI Governor as it is expected to bring in huge revenues for the Government. The Sports Minister has recruited N Srinivasan along with Vindoo Dara Singh as consultants. 
4. A controversial recommendation is making storms all around - the RBI Chief has announced plans for tax rebates for all Indian nationals residing in India who convert to Jainism. A decision borne out of the incessant increase in prices of the humble bulb. All attempts to convince, bully, threaten, cajole, bribe Sharad Pawar to open up his private Onion Stock having failed - this was the only option left to bring food inflation down. The plan is to link the Onion Avoidance Tax Slab (OATS) will be linked to Food Benefit Tax via direct bank transfers. A decision that has not gone down well with the community members. An amicable solution is being worked out currently. 
5. Another controversial move which will stir the hornet's nest is the recommendation to the Finance Ministry to Nationalize Sahara Parivar. Providing a logical reasoning, Dr. Rajan mentioned that India today in times of Great Economic Crises cannot afford to have individual families. We are all one big family of Indians. This move is going to find a lot of detractors across all party lines. Some sources who did not want to be identified mentioned that if Sahara is nationalized - India could suddenly become a profitable country and it will spell doom for the politicians. 
6. Finally, a move that jolted the entire country, Dr. Rajan proposed that RBI acquire the finance ministry and run it as an independent unit rather than keeping it as a part of the Government. This has left the finance minister Chidambaram fuming and furious. The tail has wagged the dog!!! He thundered and threatened to overrule all the above recommendations if the last one was passed!!!!!!