yEH Gaya Yaaron!!!!! Isko NAMOnia hua!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Finally it is out in the open!!!!! BJP has today appointed Narendra Modi as the Chief of BJP's Election Committee. This is perceived to be as one step short of announcing Modi as BJP's candidate for the upcoming elections in 2014.

 

This decision came in amidst twists and turns and dissents and boycots by a faction of the BJP of the National Executive Seminar held at Goa. Some of the senior members of the party were conspicuous by their absence at the meet including Yashwant Sinha and L K Advani - BJP's mascot till now.

 

 

On being questioned about Mr. Advani's absence, BJP President Rajnath Singh put the topic under the carpet citing illness. He could not have been more truthful!!!!

 

Here is what is plaguing L K Advani and some of the other senior members of the party - NAMOnia: an illness caused by sudden rise of the NAMO virus in the immediate environment.

 

 

Wikipedia describes NAMOnia as:

 

NAMO is a unicellular organism virus which breeds in the sub tropical Indian subcontinent. The virus is a recent phenomenon, the first signs of it's emergence was discovered in the state of Gujarat around 14 years ago. At that time, no serious thought was given to it; perhaps in comparison to the larger virulent forms plaguing the nation. The last decade saw sudden growth of this form as it breeded exclusively in the business rich state of Gujarat. The virus came into national prominence over the last few years when it started expanding it's territory. NAMO is a single cell creature which thrives in it's own company. It has shown hardly any affinity in mutation with other virulent forms lest it's own potency comes down. Therories abound that NAMO is lethal as believed to be the cause of the Godhra epidemic but conclusive evidence has yet to come out.

 

 

SYMPTOMS & SIGNS

 

1. NAMOnia is a rare illness that affects human beings based on their profession. This rare trait is something which the political community is examining and investigating. People from other walks of life are awed by NAMO but not directly affected. This has also caused some kind of adulation towards NAMO by ordinary people as they are rendered immune to it's immense power.
2. It affects people who are on the wrong side of the age factor which anyways renders them frail and indecisive. Younger ones are spared as they have the years to catch up.
3. It affects the confidence factor of the patient thereby making the patient avoid public fora and meetings as it's presence itself is seen as a threat.
4. NAMOnia makes one think and realize that one's time to retreat and retire has come.
5. NAMOnia isolates the patient from his or her cronies and renders the patient alone and cornered.
6. NAMOnia also has a positive effect on the other quarelling virulent forms - they all coagulate and follow NAMO.
7. It ignores the other strong virulent forms from other regions which are seen to be potential threats to it's growth.
8. People afflicted with NAMO are not allowed within the territorial borders of many countries including US and UK.

 

TREATMENT & CURE

1. There is currently no cure to this illness. The political community across both India and USA are working to find one before the virus becomes too big for their own existence.
2. Some remedial measures suggested are to just accept the virus and soften it's impact. Some cases have shown that complete acceptance of the virus has led to virus attack being completely harmless. Caution and discretion is advised for this one though.
3. Some political advisors have come up with an antidote called Remote Supreme Serum (RSS). The RSS effect on NAMO is one of the most hotly debated topics in the political arena. Though RSS has been quite effective in controlling earlier virulent forms, it's effect on NAMO needs to be seen to be believed. RSS antidote is available in some remote grounds of Nagpur.
4. Long term solution, as experts have recommended is - build your constitution such that NAMO is rendered ineffective. Infrastructure build up of your body, high levels of health governance, general prosperity and financial progress are some of the key areas to concentrate. A sample mission to develop bodies to counter NAMO is available in Bihar and a Proof of Concept is available in MP and Orissa. Though the Bihar model is speculated to be quite functional.

 

Well, till such time that the country is NAMO free, Advaniji you may continue penning your blogs and writing movie reviews but kindly abstain from any political activity as age is a factor that NAMO targets first.