INdian ALLamePIGS ASSociaSHUN!!!

Today, in unexpected turn of events, IOA (Indian Olympics Association) held a press conference to announce India was opting out of the Olympcs . The suspense being built up over the last couple of days finally came out when Mr. Lalit Bhanot - the Chief of BOCOAI - the newly set up organization (Board Of Control Of ALLamePIGS in India).

To many, this was quite expected as the growing impasse between the Olympics Committee and Indian Olympics Association showed no signs of solution. The Olympics Association was dead against the appointment of Mr. Bhanot as the Chief of Indian Olympcs Association given the aspersions cast on his credibility over the Common Wealth Games (CWG) held a couple of years ago. 

Shunning the Olympics Committee, India today decided to opt out of Olympics and instead create its own version of the games - ALLamePIGS - an event that will be held once a quarter making four seasons per annum. The event will be held across the country and 11 teams will be initially created via the franchisee model used for IPL.

The following is the salient summary of the announcement made by Mr. Bhanot:-

1. The ALLamePIGS will be held 4 times a year across different cities of the country.
2. 11 teams will be created initially. The BOCOAI is currently in talks with entrepreneurs, Bollywood actors, flopped Bollywood actors, politicians etc to come forward and buy teams.
3. Cricket will be one of the major games in ALLamePIGS with others being Kricket, Bat Ball, Spin Cricket, Pace Cricket, Night Cricket etc
4. Mr. Lalit Modi will be Chairman Emeritus of BOCOAI. Mr.Suresh Kalmadi will be Executive Chairman and Chief Mentor of BOCOAI.
5. The teams will have to bid for players and to make the auction lucrative, Mr A Raja will act as a Bid Specialist on a as-required basis.
6. Each team should have atleast 49% foreign participation via players.
7. Each of the teams should have bid for one of the following players - Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly, Ajay Jadeja, Vinod Kambli, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman and some more thespians.
8. The Wembley Arena has been booked for a Gala inauguration programme, yes - the tournaments will be held in India. Salman and Shahrukh are slated to perform together.
9. The state of Goa would be the permanent base for after match parties. Chartered planes will ferry the players each evening to the party destination. Siddhartha Mallya  of Kingfisher will be managing the event (the party, not the flight part).
10. Most or all of these rules can and in most probability be broken or mended to satiate some people.

Mr. Bhanot also repudiated any insinuations about the quality of hygiene that had become a hot topic during CWG. He mentioned that the thousands spent by the Planning Committee (read the link http://ideasinfinitum.blogspot.in/2012/06/planning-commission-flushed-with-funds.html) on the POC toilet (now named as MONTTY) was going to be mass produced and just like Aakash- be made available during the games.

On being questioned about the infrastructure for the games being ready, he calmly explained that work was going to kickstart as soon as the money from the auctions start trickling in. And since there was private money being involved - work would be completed in time and in best quality and comforts.

To a query on his experience in the Jail for charges of corruption during CWG - Mr.Bhanot mentioned that he was grateful to his mentor Mr. Kalmadi and that his times in Tihar were an inspiration and motivation. He recommended Mr. Kalmadi's book - Khel Khel Mein - Uncommonwealth Saga (see the link http://ideasinfinitum.blogspot.in/2012/02/mazaa-e-kalmadi-tihar-trials-and-teas.html) to every aspiring Sports Official. He also gave out that he himself was in the final proof reading stage of his autobiography as a tribute to his Guru Mr. Kalmadi - Khiladi 420!!!!