RakHi's SwayamWAR - ajab BHES mein gazab JAWAANIYAAN!!!

The recent days have been pretty tumultuous across domains of politics with Yeddy shouting I am not READY to Madam undergoing a surgery in US (speaking volumes of the health care system in our country under her Government that prompted her to take a phoren tour!!!).

Talking of foreign tours, the Pakistani bomb that dropped on India created quite a flutter across the nation. In a nation where a young leader is usually on the wrong side of 50, Hina Rabbani Khar's first visit after assuming the role of the Foreign Minister made all the right kind of noises.

From the Hermes Birkin bag to the Cavalli sunglasses - the fashionista here was quite impressed.

Last heard on this front was, Rashtriya Mahila Saansad Parivahan, the doyen of our lady politicians have moved a motion in the parliament sanctioning the procurement and disbursement of Hermes bags and Cavalli sunglasses to all the women parliamentarians!!!

The other big event that made many eyeballs swirl with pride and envy (no, Onida was not offering any discounts!!!!)

Rakhi Sawant made all the news this time. She has now started a new show Ajab Desh ki Gazab Kahaniyan (or something similar.....)

This is not why she is making news. She is making news because after an unsuccessful attempt to find herself an approrpriate groom in the telly show Rakhi Ka Swayamwar, she has now found her Mr. Right!!!!!

This Mr. Right happens to be Baba Ramdev. Rakhi has had an affliction towards Babas. After her announcement to the world that she found Rahul Baba quite hot, not it is the time for Ramdev to be the cynosure of Rakhi's attention (and devotion and adulation and seduction and many other tions that I would just care to shun!!!).

The following were some of her motherhood (oops she is still a kunwari kanya!!!) statements at a recently called press conference.

She made her entry around an hour late and apologized that her luggage had been lost in a flight transit and hence she had to make it to the venue in an itsy-bitsy garment camouflaging as a dress!!!!
"My sarees have been misplaced by the airport authorities", she shouted hoarse, accusing the airline of forcing her to dress provocatively. But that she being a Bharatiya naari, she tried covering herself with whatever clothing she could make do with!!!!! Well, one member from the fourth estate was commenting that she hardly leaves anything for imagination!!!

She began the press meet by openly declaring her love, adulation, fascination, emotion and motion for Baba Ramdev. My Swami, as she likes to call him. "Woh jab andhar baahar andhar baahar karte hain, to mujhe kuchh kuchh hota hai!!!!", she claimed. And before any further controversies could be invited, as an after thought she added coyly - saansein.

Obviously the reporters there were plain disappointed after the caveat. You do not come to a Rakhi Sawant press conference and do not get any spice!!!

One scribe raised a pertinent query whether Ms. Sawant had recently met Baba Ramdev or how did they get introduced to each other.

Rakhi, without batting an eyelid replied back," Mera unke saath mel milaap ho chukaa hai. Jismon ka milna sirf milna nahin hota, aatma se aatma ka milna bhi milna hota hai. Main unke aashram jaane waali hoon ya woh yahan mere show pe aayenge. Agar main unke aashram gayi to hum donon ek saath bhook anshan rakhenge aur woh mujhe apne saare paitrein sikhaayenge. Agar woh mere show pe aayenge to main unke liye saatvik aur paavan nritya karoongi."

On being probed further, Rakhi revealed that she would be performing to one of her favourite songs,

Bach ke rehna re BABA, bach ke rehna re,

Bach ke rehna re BABA tujh pe nazar hai,

Tere liye aayi teri hai deewani,

Chumein naachein gaayein hum sang tumhaare sang tumhaare

Bachke rehna re BABA, bach ke rehna re!!!!

She also revealed that she would be proposing marriage to him over Television and it would be covered live by national as well as international channels.

The cumulative package deal for broadcasting the live proposal and the subsequent nuptials will be fetching an unimaginable amount.

She also announced that both Baba and she would be shifting to Baba's island in Scotland post marriage and Baba Ramdev would be focussing on building his empire across Europe while she would be trying her talent in European television.

After the press conference, some scribes managed to get the following statement from Baba Ramdev -

"Hum to kabhi ke humaare bhakton ke ho chuke. Rakhiji ko hum dil o jaan se bulaana chaahte hain apne aashram mein. Agle hafte mein hi mahotsav ho sakta hai. Hum donon zindagi bhar ek atooth bandhan mein bandhne jaa rahe hain."

The newbyte hungry scribes were excited beyond control. Their television channels had enough fodder for the next couple of weeks!!!!!

Lastly Baba added, "agle hafte Raksha Bandhan jo hai, Rakhi ke haathon se Raakhi bandhwaane mein humein bahut khushi hogi!!!"