hIgH VAULTage TrEaSuReS TuMbLiNg OuT of TemPles' PrEciNcts!!!!!

Dear Chums

The last couple of days were full of so many events (it seems that something interesting always keeps on happening nowadays unlike the days of the yore).

As Baba Ramdev and Anna moved into their respective sunsets, divinity was beckoning for attention down in Kerala.

With the vast amounts of unheard of wealth in terms of gold coins, gilded ropes and antiquities and innumerable ornaments of unimaginable value and worth- all eyes are now focussed on this-till-now-a-normal-temple at the Padmanabhaswamy Temple.

I have had the good fortune of visiting this temple some years ago during my short trip to Kerala with my friends from Pune. As the news about the wealth being found trickled in, I was agape in awe and wonder.

If this was what was found in some sealed vaults of a religious temple from those ages where piousness and honesty was a way of life, what would be the quantum that could be waiting to be unearthed from the vaults of our unscrupulous and dishonest netas!!!!!

Not wanting to go that path, this piece concentrates on what is being planned with this sudden turn of fortune for this temple.

The Maharaja of Travancore, His Highness Marthanda Varma has categorically maintained the stance that this wealth is Lord's wealth donated over the decades and centuries by the Royal Family to the temple and also by the Royal Guests to Travancore.

Not many are of this opinion and let us see some of the more interesting suggestions that have come up over this religious booty being found.

The Mammoothy-Mohanlal fan club have come up with the idea that a vast portion of the temple wealth be donated to these two demi-gods if they happen to lose or forfeit some component of their fortune in the recent IT raids.

Experts on Malayalam cinema have opined that the divine charity may just be able to replenish their undeclared wealth, if seized by the IT sleuths.

Behenji Su Shri Mayawati has made a request that UP should also get some part of this treasure which will be used for welfare and well being (whether Swayam Hitaaye Swayam Sukhaaye or Sarjan Hitaaye Sarjan Sukhaaye) is not something that is clear.

The plan is to construct Golden Statues of Kanshiram and Mayawati at every street corner and junction in UP.

Not to be left in the lurch, Suresh Kalmadi has also petitioned the Supreme Court with an injunction on any decision to be taken on the disbursement or usage of this treasure.

His plan is that this treasure be used to make so many gold medals and distribute among all the Indian atheletes that whether they win in the tournament or lose the same- they will definitely come back home with gold medals!!! Probably, he would be vindicated that he has done his duty of getting Gold for his players!!!

While all this furore was going on in full frenzy, the Government of Kerala was facing a different enigma - how to ensure the safety of this mammoth and unheard of wealth!!! What would stop any Government officer to connive with an entire set of people and siphone of a part of this wealth??

They have come up with a plan that they will use a significant amount of this wealth to create a separate army to protect this treasure and what part will be left after this expense will be used in the maintenance of this super-elite armed force!!!!!

There were some more claims to this treasure from the most unexpected quarters of India- from Laloojee to Sharad Pawar -each claiming some logic or rule to get a part of the booty.

One claim has suddenly found much favour with Bollywood as well - Mr. Bharat aka Manoj Kumar has claimed that he should be rewarded for his clairvoyance and that he had prophecised this years ago.

This just was the most bizarre claim till now until he was summoned in the courts and when asked for an explanation - he calmly played out a song from a cassette player - Mere desh ki dharti sona ugle, ugle heere moti - o mere desh ki dharti!!!!

After this bizarre turn of events (though Mr. Bharat's litigation was quashed by the courts!!!), there were noises made for sometime until one fine day.....

The special panel overseeing the management of this treasure received a special petition request that some part of the Gold unearthed should be given to this person as this impacted one of his basic constitutional right of Roti Kapda aur Makaan!!!!

The panel pondered a lot on this particular litigation and eventually decided that some component of this booty may be shared with this person so as to fulfil the basic trio necessities of life (food clothing and shelter).

So, in went this portly litigant and came out decked in some most artistically carved and designed jewellery.

No points in guessing.... he was Bappida!!!!!!

A contextual joke doing rounds on the internet is -

Rajinikanth also requests for the total inventory list of all the precious ornaments and gold that tumbled out of the Sri Padmanabhaswamy temple.

When the temple authorities requested Rajini to give reasons for his request - he calmly replied - I just want to share this with my wife so that she finds something from that list not in her wardrobe, I will have to get her the same.!!!!!