ADARSH bites AAH DUST >> the Phoenix rises from the debris!!!!!!!!

Dear Chums

The New Year has begun and how!!!!

The events are unfolding at such a frenetic pace that blogs may not do adequate justice and cover all events- tweets might…

Yesterday, the judgment on Adarsh Housing Society came out – wow!!! Such speedy outcomes have become the norms of the day!!!

Jairam Ramesh has come up with 3 options as a remedy. If all investigations were in time - … just impossible to imagine the scenario!!!!

First - demolish the entire structure as it is completely in violation of CRZ rules.

Second – demolish all but 6 floors of the structure as they were the only ones for which approvals were taken

Last – the Government takes control of the entire building to use it as deemed fit.

Now, Jairam has proposed that option 1 be considered and the entire building be demolished. This would be an apt and a fitting response to such a brazen act of corruption.

This has led to another conundrum that the government is trying to resolve – who will get the contract to demolish the structure and who will make away with the booty of the debris and scrap metal??

There is a strong lobbying underway to bag these two contracts – given that staying in that house may not be a reality.

Ashok Chawan has proposed his sister’s firm to carry out these two contracts – his argument, this entire building cost him his post and that too for his mother–in-law!!! His immediate family should be compensated now!!!!

Other proposals with such similar reasons are just flying everywhere. Poor Prithviraj Chawan is trying to placate one and all!!!!

In the wake of this new issue that has been brewing, the Government has decided to go for the third option – to take control of the entire building and to use it as deemed fit.

This is what is going to become off it!!!

AAH DUST SCAMPHITHEATHRE OF FINED ARTS AND MUSEUM

The first of its kind in the world!!!! Mumbai proudly presents the single largest collection of it’s scampaigns of the past diamond era!!!! Enter, enjoy, enrich yourself and get corrupted!!!!!
There are museums on Vodkas, Scotches, torture tools (one in Amsterdam), sex (again in Amsterdam) – but nowhere in the world is there a MUSEUM OF SCAMS!!!!

Though revisiting the colourful (read tainted) history of our country may be an arduous task, given that the last two decades have been so coloured and checkered!!!!

Let me elucidate on some of the finer sections of this unique museum:-

1. The top 10 floors are dedicated to the fine art and practice of research and academic studies in the domain of scams. A new line of subject has been also created and now recognized all over – JHOLOLOGY (derived from the colloquial Hindi word Jhol which means a con or a scam or to cheat).
   


2. 5 floors are housing The Harshad Mehta Memorial Institute of Capital Market Butchering. Detailed researches, discussions and debates happen here on a regular basis. The institute has dedicated itself into inventing novel ways of profiting by way of financial frauds and irregularities in the markets. Just last year, the institute received a huge grant of around 1000 Crores from Ketan Parekh.
   


3. The institute also houses a souvenir shop which is being managed by VIP which sells miniatures of suitcases filled with dummy currency notes of 100 crore.
   


4. A part of the structure has been converted into terraced gardens and a live replica of a Bihar cowshed has been created to commemorate Laloojee’s famous chaara ghotaala.
   


5. A similar section has been carved out – for a nominal fee, visitors can experience a mock auction of themselves at the Lalit Modi Memorial IPLgate!!!!
   


6. A section of a floor has also been converted into the replica of Sukhram’s living room where all the telecom loot was found.
   


7. Miniature replicas of the CWG athlete’s rooms have been constructed. Special pipe lines have been introduced to show the leakages and how the athletes had to stay there. The souvenir shop sells the famous toilet paper for 1000 INR per roll!!!! They are all personally autographed by Suresh Kalmadi himself!!!!
   


8. A training institute is being designed. This is called the ASATYAM FRAUD MANAGEMENT PRACTICE. Plans are to get the best of the breed master minds from different high profile prisons as guest faculty here. The Raju family trust makes this possible. Ex CEOs of Arthur Anderson, Enron, Nick Leeson etc are all showing interest here.
   


9. There is an onion garden dedicated to the Pawar family. The onions are for display only- given that they are almost extinct, these cannot be plucked. High security arrangements make that possible.
   


10. An outdoor shooting range has been created by carving out a part of a floor – this is the Bofors Block. Here, for a fee, visitors can shoot empty or blank bullets from the Howitzer guns that the now defunct company had sold to the Indian Army. The target has been slightly modified to give a contextual touch – the target bull’s eye has a small tail sliding out from the right hand bottom side to give it a Q shape (in memory of the main accused Quattrochi)
    

The museum is attracting visitors in hordes of thousands!!!!

The revenues of the museum have increased manifold since it was started.

This has led to another issue – there is widespread corruption in misappropriation of funds by the management who is running this museum!!!!

Now that Adarsh is doing such good business, Jairam Ramesh is contemplating something on similar lines for Lavasa as well!!!!!!
Sriky



Srikant Harihar
00 91 900 43 46 46 3