The recent wikileaks full of the official American cables full of embarassing and eloquent takes about the world leaders was just the tip of the iceberg.
Not to be left behind, things were not calm and serene back home. A similar exercise was being planned. Just as we Indians like it big and better in most things - this one was proving to be a very promising expose!!!
Unlike the wikileaks, the website www.cheekypeaks.in captured call details, cables being wired and also corridor gossips to create one interesting and scandalous story.
The founder of www.cheekypeaks.in, Mr.Jholiyaas Hasdaange shared some interesting snippets out of the entire story.
Here is an unbridged verbatims and cables duly translated!!!!
Salman-Vivek conversations unbuttoned!!!!
Yes- that's correct Cheeky Peaks has managed to get hold of a tape recorded conversation between Sallu and Vivek (though the entire world feels they are not on talking terms).
SK - dude, now that you are married, can you help me to find a new arm kandy, Katrina Kaif is no longer safe!!! She is acting too pricey and young for my tastes.
VO - Salman bhai, no worries- I have heard about this hot new female who is being launched with Ranbir - Nargis Fakhri. I will set up a date meet between you two and you can try your luck!!!
Sharad Pawar - Onion- a non tear jerking saga!!!!
Onion- Pawarji... thank you very much for your continued support this year as well!!!I have been laughing my way to the banks ever since I became a scarce commodity.
Sharad Pawar - No worries, even I have been laughing my way to the banks this year. Remember, you will get your turn again only after some time. Tomatoes, pulses, bananas et al are waiting in the queue. Also, the world cup will commence and that will bring me more money than all you vegetables.
Sreesanth- Bhajji - practising for another cheeky encounter!!!
Yes, after the infamous slapgate during the IPL season, these two have been conspicuously not come together on any public platform. It was surprising and entertaining to listen to what they were planning for the upcoming world cup.
Bhajji- Hey Sree, forget what happened in the past and let's concentrate on the world cup dude.
Sree- Good for you, I am not even selected.
Bhajji - Don't worry, you will come into the team eventually. Just ensure that you make an announcement tomorrow that you are planning to cut an album on the world cup songs that you have penned and also that you will be performing by the sides in the stadia wherever India is playing. To thwart this danger, you will be given an entry into the team.
Sree- wow that s a great idea dude!!! Once I am in the team, we will again have a fight and make out (sorry make up) in media glares so that our meters are still running for a good couple of months after the world cup.
Anil-Mukesh Ambani - unreliable Reliance practise
After their infamous bouts in public over the KG basin gas or Reliance split-the two siblings have never come together for any public event. Cheekypeaks has finally unravelled the hidden intentions and the long drawn plans of the India's richest business tycoons.
Anil- Bhai, this spectrum heat is spoiling whatever little winter is there in Mumbai. I am sure this is going to go into a lengthy media melange over the coming months.
Mukesh- Dont worry, we will use the trick that Papa taught us so many times. We will create a share holding trail leading from RCOM to RIL. You can announce that you want to sell your stake to me. This will crash the stocks of the company in the market. Internally, I will buy the crashed stock at dirt cheap price. I will make an announcement that RCOM will be rejigged. The investors will be happy, stocks will rise, I will sell in the market. You can then join the board. You have no liability as the board of RCOM will be dissolved and RIL board will go to court against CBI and let the case do a marathon just like you.
Anil- Thanks bhai!!!! Papa ka sapna, sarkaar ka maal apna!!!!
Manmohan - Madamji - a Khamoshi in the making!!
Cheekypeaks also managed to get into the PMO and get transcripts of the calls between the PM and the Madam. Surprisingly, when they played the tapes, they heard only silence. Completely flummoxed, they were at their wit's end when some Alec smart came up with the reason. When talking to Madamji, the PM is speechless!!!! That eventually led to a logical reason for the blank tapes. The cheekypeaks team managed to get the cells tapped this time and when they played back the recorded conversations, it was in a language completely alien to all. The language was phonetically sweet and garrulous at the same time.
!@!@$$######!#@#@#@#(*&^(>>@###@@#(@#%(&^$">*&^$*$#$%@#$#*@#@#@@>>>@###@@#(@#%(&^$
Again, they thought that this might be some kind of a secret language created by RAW for the most important people of the country. They were trying to prepare a brief on this breaking news that there is a new language used in the upper echelons of the political system when the ordered pizza and pasta came from Dominos to the Cheekypeaks office. The courier boy- Banta Pappu Singh heard the recordings while he was waiting for the payment and remarked casually that his Taayaji also speaks like that. The Cheekypeaks Editor Hasdange was shocked.He took the young Banta to a corner and spoke to him.
What happened after that .... Hasdange could not control his laughter for nearly 15 minutes.
Banta explained that this was both Punjabi in Italian mix and Italian in Punjabi mix which his Taayaji running a department store in Milan spoke!!!!!
Sriky
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