The Great Indian POLL DANCE - Vote De WARNA...

As the election fever hits an all new high during the polling phase, some aspects of this Dance of Democrazy are disturbing. One such incident came to light this week. In an election rally in rural Maharashtra, NCP leader Ajit Pawar was caught on camera threatening the villagers of dire consequences if they did not vote for the NCP candidate in the region. He threatened to stop water supply in the state's most arid of areas. 

Now this is not a one off case where politicians have threatened their populace. In a disturbing report, more such incidents are mentioned which have left the select few privy to reading it quite shocked. 

I was one of the privileged few who got to peruse this report (being a wannabe writer does have its perks, I guess!!!). 

I present some snippets of this report. Some of these could be quite distasteful and extreme caution and moderate spirited indulgence is advised before reading this. 

L K Advani-
I ask for votes this time. If you don't vote for me, I will - contest the next elections, create fissures within the BJP, make life miserable for Modi, promote Nitin Gadkari for the PM post, cut an album of dance songs for Sushma Swaraj, publicly advocate and praise Jinnah and all the while keep on writing blogs on the BJP website. 

Nitish Kumar-
I beg for votes from you. If you don't vote for me, I will - add giving a special country status for India as a party manifesto, join BJP again only to leave it when they announce somebody else as the PM candidate. 

Digvijaya Singh - 
I am not asking you to vote for me. Please vote for BJP. I believe that if you all vote for BJP, at least that will be the only number of votes they will get. Rest of India and Pakistan will vote for Rahul Baba. If you don't - I will continue to be a spokesperson for Congress and also unofficially speak up for BJP on all prime time TV channels. I will crown Rahul Baba as the Emperor of India, basically I will behave the way I have been behaving. So...!!!!

Smriti Irani - 
I am asking  you to vote for me. Please vote for me else - I will start giving my speeches with slow motions and repeats..repeats...repeats...repeats. I will revive my career with Kyun ki Tulsi bhi kabhi Smriti thi - a daily soap which will run for the next 5 years!!!

Sharad Pawar - 
This may be my last election, so please vote for me, else - you will leave me with no option but to join BCCI for the next 5 years, represent India in ICC, Olympics and Commonwealth games, head the farmers' association and finally become the Head Of Accumulation and Rigging Demand at the Lasalgaon onion market. So, just think once again, do you want to vote for me or else... I have detailed my plans. 

Narendra Modi - 
Well, I don't have to ask anyone to vote for me yaar, ab ki baar Modi sarkaar. If you don't vote for me - khabardaar!!! ab ki baar Modi sarkar. Pyaaz ke daam badhaa dega Sharad Pawar, ab ki baar Modi sarkar. When I drive, a puppy can come under my car, ab ki baar Modi sarkar, sirf MAIN kar sakta hoon desh ka uddhhar, ab ki baar Modi sarkar...

Rahul Gandhi - 
Vote for me PLEASE!!!  else - I will come back to you after 10 years to ask for your vote once again, I visit my constituency once a decade. Mummy, what else will I do if people don't vote for me? 

Manmohan Singh - 
Please vote for me, else - theek hai!!!