Hardly Speaking (with) Arnab!!!!

This has been a daily affair each night for most of us now!!! Love him or hate him ... it is just difficult to ignore him and impossible to silence him!!!!

When a push comes to a shove and when a shove comes to a rampage... the Nation finally takes this man to task. 

Yes you heard it right and heard it for the first time on this blog!!!

After so many tormenting nights where Arnab used the Nation as a shield to ask atrocious questions, the Nation decided that this was enough!!!

In an event planned specially towards this task, the Nation summons Arnab Goswami in order to grill him and demand an explanation, seek an answer to ......

Nation- Ladies and Gentlemen, we have in our studio, the man at the center of all controversies- Arnab Goswami.

Arnab - 

Nation- Before you start Arnab, I would like to set the premise and ask you this question? What moral, ethical, holistic, realistic, physical, emotional right do you have to question people using my reference all the time? Answer me Mr. Goswami, who is the one who has given you the authority to bring me - the Nation to be the center stage of all your grillings? You have not answered me Mr. Goswami!!!!

Arnab - Actually, I wanted to....

Nation- Mr. Goswami, before you proceed, I have with me via satellite link a senior member of my community - Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam will provide his perspective on this matter. 

Nation- Hello Uncle Sam!!! How are you? It has been quite some time that we spoke. 

Uncle Sam - Hiya Nation!!!! How's you doing? What brought you to get me on a phone line. 

Nation- Uncle Sam  the Nation is asking for an explanation from Arnab Goswami regarding illegal and rampant use of my Name which is a strong copyright and human rights violation. Do you face such issues with your country?

Uncle Sam - No Nation, never!!!! I don't bother questioning my people at all. They are quite responsible and if they want, YES THEY CAN bring the change they want. I just laze around and watch the happenings and I must say, this bloke Obama is doing a decent enough job. 

Nation- Thanks Uncle Sam  Mr. Arnab Goswami, the question that I need you to answer is - what right do you possess to unequivocally refer to my being for irrelevant questionings? Answer me Mr. Goswami, the Nation demands an answer. 

Arnab - Well, I just wanted to...

Nation- You just wanted to what? Mr. Goswami, answer has TIMES NOW's journalistic sensibilities taken a total backseat when such questions are raised? You are deliberately trying to avoid my question, answer me Mr. Goswami. 

Nation- Remember, you are seeing this here on NATION NOW!!!! We have with us in the Studio, another such contemporary, PRC - Peoples' Republic of China. 

PRC - Nee Haw!!!

Nation- PRC, welcome to our studio, the question being raised now is this - do you indulge in questioning your leaders all the time?

PRC - Xi Jinping knows best. If I meddle in his affairs, he will have me executed.

Nation- Why are you still silent Mr. Goswami? Meddling with one's country's leaders can get one killed. Mr. Goswami, the question that the Nation is asking is this - even under the threat of mortal extermination, what journalistic liberties does Times Now and especially you possess to reference my name as and when you please? Answer me Mr. Goswami. The Nation is keenly watching your every move. 

Arnab - Mr. Nation, if you could just...

Nation- Before you complete stating what you want to state in your defense, I have someone very special from an international link. Hello Great Britain!!! The question on NATION NOW is this - do you meddle in the affairs of your country and do you question them on what they are up to? Great Britain, you need to answer this question to provide some clarity to the rather argumentative gentleman sitting here with me in the studio, Arnab Goswami.

Great Britain - Well mate!!! I generally laze around all day at the local pub having my favourite ale. I have still not questioned anybody till date but if the Queen asks me to, I shall. 

Nation- That was the response from Great Britain, even a country which ruled us for over a century requires the Queen's approval to question anybody!!! The question to you Mr. Goswami is this - Do you think that you are superior in Rank and Royalty and Responsibility in comparison to the Queen of United Kingdom that you can question anybody on anything all the while using (or in many cases) abusing my name? Answer me Mr. Goswami!!! The Nationdemands an answer today!!!!

Arnab  - Mr. Nation, if you will let me spe...

Nation- What Mr. Goswami? I am not able to hear your muted responses!!!! We now have somebody who has been my bete noir!!! On the phone line with me from across the border, Pakistan!!

Nation- Pakistan  do you, under any moral or ethical right as a Country or a Nation, question the actions of your citizen? Answer me Pakistan!!! Do you or you do not!!!
Pakistan- Er..... Nation, I think I am into a wrong call. 
Nation- Pakistan, the Nation wants to know why do you think you are in a wrong call!!! 
Pakistan- Actually what your Vice President mentioned a couple of days ago...we are a manifestation of his thoughts...

Nation- Answer me Mr. Goswami, what did the Vice President of India say a couple of days ago.. why have you fallen so morose and muted? It looks like the entire fraternity of TIMES NOW has taken a mauna vrata!!!
Pakistan- Err.... we are actually not a country but as your Vice President mentioned - a Federation of Anarchists!!!


Nation- Did you hear that Mr. Goswami!!! Even in anarchy one does not question anybody in a way you do. Before you answer anything, since I have set the premise for this discussion and I hereby nominate one person whom you can ask any questions if it relates to me. 


Arnab - ...er.... who is it?
Nation- Here he is Mr. Goswami... my namesake!!!! Go on with him on your news shows!!!