Have some Mamta!!! BANherJEE- BANSgalore in POSHchim BANgla!!!!!

After the reENGINEering the railyways budget in the last fortnight, it was safe to presume that Didi will not be making any further noises for sometime to come. Manmohan's doctor had sent across a personal note to Didi requesting her not to agonize the already tortured and agonized PM.

Didi - true to her word, has decided to take a short vacation from National Politics and concentrate her efforts in the state. Her last major initiative in the state was when she protested in SINgur against the Nano. Mighty pleased that the Tatas withdrew from Bengal and set up shop in sANAND- Didi decided to take up more such initiatives.

True to her style, she issued an ordinance of banning all English dailies and anti Trinamool regional newspapers from all the state libraries. Her argument - this has been done as a matter of austerity and there is nothing to be read between the lines. It is a different issue that if there is hardly anything to read, what is there left to be read between the lines!!!!

Anyways, buoyed by the fact that her decision did not stir the hornet's nest, she gained some more confidence. This confidence has led to the issue of the following ordinances which will soon become state laws in the coming days. She is deliberating most of these points with her trusted aide Derek No Brain!!!!!

1. All English newspapers have been issued notices in PB to wind up within a month. Didi feels that there are many things of interest that the people of PB should learn first about their own state rather than worry about what is happening in the world. Also, the kind of gregarious and ostentatious advertisements are not in synch with her pro poor image.
2. All the IT companies have been issued notices to dissolve their works in the state of Poshchim Bangal. This has been one masterstroke!!! Didi has attributed the increase in rape cases and late night muggings to the existence of the IT establishment. Instead of going the Gurgaon way, she has nipped the caper in the bud!!!!
3. The ageless addas of Kolkatta have been revamped beyond recognition. The erstwhile intellectual talks and debates have now been replaced with emporia selling white sarees. Black coffees, fortunately have been given a reprieve by Didi so they are still being sold!!!!
4.  The Durgo Pujo for once, has undergone a significant change, ever since SRK became the ambassador of West Bengal, the Government has introduced an e-Durgo Pujo and an e-dashami. The process of torching the demon king has been replaced by a gizmo gun shooting at huge cut outs of RA.One. By the way, the movie is still running one show in all the theatres in the state.
5. All the Sondeshes and Mishti Dois will now be prepared only with Amool Cream, Amool Milk, Amool milk products. The Amul dairy farms has been rechristened into Amool so that it is in synch with trinAMOOL. They have been given tax exemptions for the coming 5 years. This has been Didi's sweet revenge of taking something back from Gujarat in lieu of the Nano.
6. The Indian Railways has been informed that all passengers travelling long distances should be served with Sondeh or Mishti Doi as a complimentary service. Didi's mantra- what if we cannot a safe journey, we can definitely provide a sweet journey!!!!!
7. All Government employees will be given a Bata allowance to buy hawai chappals to be worn to the office. This is again coherent with the vision of the CM to showcase an austere state.
8. Cricket has been banned in Poshchim Bongla. KPL or Kolkatta Premier League has taken over. SRK's team KKR is all poised to win against Manchester United in this year's edition. All tickets are for free and the state is footing the bill.

All these austerity drives is actually bleeding the coffers of the state but who would care less amidst growing popularity among the people!!!!

This reminds me of the famous quip about the Father of our Nation Bapu - it amounted to a huge expense to keep Bapu in a state of poverty.