Barack BARRIcadeS BoMbAY!!!!! The Presidential Trav(ai)els to India !!!!

• Dear Chums
  
  Firstly, many happy tidings for the festive season!!!!!
  
  The city, the country are both abuzz!!! This festive season, there is a bumper bonus in the form of Barack Obama coming to Mumbai. Half of Mumbai has been cordoned off and today… to my horror- my own mom asked me for my identification card before letting me into my house!!! She, it seems, attended a society-held session on ensuring security sanctity in the wake of Obama’s visit!!!!
  Mumbai airport has undergone significant renovations to accommodate the mammoth entourage that is going to accompany the Third Most Powerful man in the world!!! (Forbes came up with a list that Hu Jintao- the Mandarin Premier has usurped Obama’s place) but the first position … as usual … has been and will be retained by Rajnikant!!!
  This is also one of the reasons why Rajni does not like coming to Mumbai- he being the most powerful man in the world does not get the treatment that the third most powerful man is getting.
  
  All the roads have been cleaned up and spruced up like a bedecked and bejeweled bride. It requires an American to teach us cleanliness!!! Perhaps Lalit Bahnot was completely right about his epic statement on hygiene.
  
  It seems that the US government is spending 900 crore INR per day on the presidential visit. There is a big hue and cry about this huge expense in the wake of monetary circumstances that US is facing.
  President would have none of this argument and he is finally landing in Mumbai!!!

The President has some very important tasks to be accomplished during his stay in India and that list of tasks is kept secret.

• Some more interesting things that are happening because of the Obama visit!!!
  
• There is a new stall just opposite the Taj hotel selling freshly made Barack Pavs. This is prepared by mincing fresh Talibani meat with some Hanoi sauce!!!
  
• Obalma pain balm is doing the rounds nowadays. This unique pain balm gives you relief from recessionary pains and stress.
  
• Barack barfis are doing the rounds this Diwali. This has a dash of nicotine chewing gum base added to give that presidential flavour.
  
• The biggest selling item this season is Barack bombs. They light up, explode…. BUT without any noise or light and does no damage!!!!

• Obama also plans to check out some of the BPO facilities across Mumbai to just understand what this ruckus all about is and whether they are really beneficial for the Americans.

The President wants to meet Rajnikant but in a very secret rendez-vous!!! The reasons –

• Obama wants to see the most powerful man in the world.
  
• Rajnikant can create jobs in the US if he can create replicas of himself so easily!!!
  
• Rajnikant actually knows where Osama is hiding!!! This reason takes the cake!!!!
  
• Obama wants to learn to flick cigarettes like Rajni does.
  
• Obama wanted to request Rajni to act in a Hollywood movie which could be financed by the US Congress. All the recession related losses could be wiped out in one stroke!!! Obama also has a name for that one – SAMBOT!!!!

Last heard was – Rajni had not yet given his approval for this audience.

The tickets for the Presidential Dinner Party in honour of the American President are also up for grabs. Kalmadi Associates has been selling these coveted passes in an auction. Needless to say- funds generated from this auction will be ploughed back to eliminate the losses incurred because of CWG.

President Obama has also expressed an interest to visit Antilla – the residence of Mukesh Ambani. This was not approved as this point did not come up in the RIL AGM well in advance and shareholder approvals were not taken.

There were other unimportant points in the Presidential itinerary but they were all too insignificant in nature. Somethings to do with bilateral talks, trade deals, defence contracts etc.

Sriky