Dear Chums,
The entire last week was spent on the Mind Your Language issue that our netas need to follow. The infamous Nitin Gadkari comments on Lalooji and Mulayam Singh just proved another point that the ethos and elegance of the political environment has literally gone to the dogs!!!
To unravel the intended but unexpressed intention behind Nitin Gadhkari’s comments, I decided to get the information from the horse’s mouth directly (oops, I hope he will feel flattered by me bestowing a lithe physical personification on his existential gargantuan one).
When I met Mr. Gadhkari at his stable (oops house), he was still coming to terms with his faux pas. He has been given a gag order from opening his mouth, even at home. The BJP is awkwardly trying to sail over the issue when there is a furor currently ravaging the Parliament.
After a long hour or persuasion, Mr. Gadhkari decides to speak (when I assure that his side of the story will be published across private and privileged media of broadcast which are read by the intellect and intelligentsia of the country).
ME – So Mr. Gadhkari, congratulations on becoming the National President of the BJP!!! I was not around to wish you a few weeks ago when you were elevated to the highest post in the party!!!
NG – Arre baba!!! What congratulations? I am almost about to lose my job now. The RSS is planning to convene an emergency meeting to decide my fate.
ME – But Sir, why in the blazes, did you have to use such a harsh language to convey such a simple truth?
NG – Baba, I just used a proverb in context to the CBI investigations pending against Laloo and Mulayam which have been tampered with because of their allegiance to the Congress.
ME – I agree sir, but the language could have been more refined?
NG – You know this is all because of refined.
ME- Sorry, but I did not understand you.
NG – I am used to so much refined oil in my food that my health is going down and this makes me blabber out things that I don’t want to, otherwise.
ME – Wow, Mr. Gadkhari, this is also a plausible excuse, but do you know Laloojee and Mulayam have not taken kindly to your words.
NG- Yes, I realize this now. I could have called Laloo a cow or a buffalo or even a bull. He would have felt quite at home. I could have called Mulayam a bear as teddy bears are soft and that would have kind of acted as a synonym to him. I would have achieved my intention of calling them animals and they would have actually liked it!!!!
ME – EXACTLY!!!! They have taken objections exactly on these grounds. They claim that dogs are a man’s best friend. They say they have enough evidences to present that they or their policies have never been a friend of the common man. Also that the dog is a very faithful animal and they say that their political musical chairs are the best proofs of their faithfulness!!!!
NG – Oh, is that the real reason for their displeasure? Now, I understand the gravity of what error I have committed. I have inadvertently called them dogs when neither are they the common man’s friend nor are they faithful.
ME – You have got the real point now, Mr. Gadhkari.
NG – But what I am supposed to do now?
ME – Just take the excuse of the fact that your Hindi is not as good and that you literally translated a Marathi adage into Hindi. You can also raise a point that Marathi needs to be brought into the national level and accorded with a National Language Status. This will score a couple of brownie points against your ally – Shiv Sena who have not been able to do this till now.
NG – Wow!!! What a brilliant idea!!!! This is fantastic!!!! But do tell me one thing? Do I have to hold my ears and do sit ups and apologize as Laloo has demanded now?
ME – There is a solution for that as well. I know if you go down on your knees, you will not be able to come up. Do one thing- in the parliament, hold your ears and try to go down, then while trying to come up, you just collapse on the ground. Act as if you are in deep pain. This will bring a lot of national sympathy and also some time for you to recuperate in some five star hospital for a couple of days. This matter will die a natural death by then.
NG – Again, what a brilliant idea!!!! But do you think I will be able to at least go down on my knees? I don’t remember when was the last time I could see the ground beneath my feet.
ME – Of course it is possible – Who says Elephants can’t dance?
Sriky
The entire last week was spent on the Mind Your Language issue that our netas need to follow. The infamous Nitin Gadkari comments on Lalooji and Mulayam Singh just proved another point that the ethos and elegance of the political environment has literally gone to the dogs!!!
To unravel the intended but unexpressed intention behind Nitin Gadhkari’s comments, I decided to get the information from the horse’s mouth directly (oops, I hope he will feel flattered by me bestowing a lithe physical personification on his existential gargantuan one).
When I met Mr. Gadhkari at his stable (oops house), he was still coming to terms with his faux pas. He has been given a gag order from opening his mouth, even at home. The BJP is awkwardly trying to sail over the issue when there is a furor currently ravaging the Parliament.
After a long hour or persuasion, Mr. Gadhkari decides to speak (when I assure that his side of the story will be published across private and privileged media of broadcast which are read by the intellect and intelligentsia of the country).
ME – So Mr. Gadhkari, congratulations on becoming the National President of the BJP!!! I was not around to wish you a few weeks ago when you were elevated to the highest post in the party!!!
NG – Arre baba!!! What congratulations? I am almost about to lose my job now. The RSS is planning to convene an emergency meeting to decide my fate.
ME – But Sir, why in the blazes, did you have to use such a harsh language to convey such a simple truth?
NG – Baba, I just used a proverb in context to the CBI investigations pending against Laloo and Mulayam which have been tampered with because of their allegiance to the Congress.
ME – I agree sir, but the language could have been more refined?
NG – You know this is all because of refined.
ME- Sorry, but I did not understand you.
NG – I am used to so much refined oil in my food that my health is going down and this makes me blabber out things that I don’t want to, otherwise.
ME – Wow, Mr. Gadkhari, this is also a plausible excuse, but do you know Laloojee and Mulayam have not taken kindly to your words.
NG- Yes, I realize this now. I could have called Laloo a cow or a buffalo or even a bull. He would have felt quite at home. I could have called Mulayam a bear as teddy bears are soft and that would have kind of acted as a synonym to him. I would have achieved my intention of calling them animals and they would have actually liked it!!!!
ME – EXACTLY!!!! They have taken objections exactly on these grounds. They claim that dogs are a man’s best friend. They say they have enough evidences to present that they or their policies have never been a friend of the common man. Also that the dog is a very faithful animal and they say that their political musical chairs are the best proofs of their faithfulness!!!!
NG – Oh, is that the real reason for their displeasure? Now, I understand the gravity of what error I have committed. I have inadvertently called them dogs when neither are they the common man’s friend nor are they faithful.
ME – You have got the real point now, Mr. Gadhkari.
NG – But what I am supposed to do now?
ME – Just take the excuse of the fact that your Hindi is not as good and that you literally translated a Marathi adage into Hindi. You can also raise a point that Marathi needs to be brought into the national level and accorded with a National Language Status. This will score a couple of brownie points against your ally – Shiv Sena who have not been able to do this till now.
NG – Wow!!! What a brilliant idea!!!! This is fantastic!!!! But do tell me one thing? Do I have to hold my ears and do sit ups and apologize as Laloo has demanded now?
ME – There is a solution for that as well. I know if you go down on your knees, you will not be able to come up. Do one thing- in the parliament, hold your ears and try to go down, then while trying to come up, you just collapse on the ground. Act as if you are in deep pain. This will bring a lot of national sympathy and also some time for you to recuperate in some five star hospital for a couple of days. This matter will die a natural death by then.
NG – Again, what a brilliant idea!!!! But do you think I will be able to at least go down on my knees? I don’t remember when was the last time I could see the ground beneath my feet.
ME – Of course it is possible – Who says Elephants can’t dance?
Sriky
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