K ing K han R eturns - Haarbo Haarbo Kamaaibo Re!!!

Dear Chums,
I am back again, what with so much happening all around us, I thought it would be just the right time for me to add some more fuel to the fodder so that there is just too much smoke without any fire. The IPL has been offshored. This is a classic case of reverse shoring, I feel.
Kudos to Modi bhai (not the saffron clad one) for proving that Where there is a Will there is a way!!!!!
The agenda of this write up is not IPL. I got an exclusive tete-a-tete with the King Khan himself!!!!
The piece of my interaction was the dismal piece of performance by the KKR blokes. They have just been subjected to some nice grinders of matches....

So, without much ado, here is the salvo of my questions and some really cheesy and quick witted responses by the Badshaah:-
ME- So SRK, how does it feel now?
SRK - Oh good that you asked me this question? It feels really nice to be in the day.
ME- sorry?
SRK- Dude, when it s a (k)night back in South Africa, its a day in Mumbai.
ME- Oh! Was that what prompted you to come back to Mumbai? I heard that you came back to cast your ballot in the Great Indian Elections.
SRK- Oh no!!! That was just another professional committment for me.
ME- Professional committment? Elections?
SRK- I have just been signed by Luxor Group to be their new brand ambassador. I was actually advertising their new permanent ink through the election facade.
ME - Oh!!! and I was wondering why you were pointing your middle finger at the camera. Sorry Shah Rukh, I mistook your intentions.
ME - So, what about all these stories about your impromptu display of a democratic trait to vote et al?
SRK- Boss, long before IPL was being planned, I was scheduled to perform at a wedding in Mumbai. If it was not for the wedding, there would not have been the IPL.The Luxor deal was INKED during the initial days of IPL. I had no choice.
ME- O Oh!!! So this was how you funded your team!!!!
SRK- Yeah, some from dancing, for others, there are bigger fools whose companies' products I advertise.
ME - So what s happening on the movies front?
SRK - Well, My Name is Khan has been completed. Karan and I have BROKEN OFF.
ME - Oh Gosh!!!!!!!!!!! When did this happen? How? Where? Why?
SRK - I goaded KJO to take to acting, now that each actor worth his reel is acting. We are planning a re-envisioned version of the BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN and it will be titled - HIMALAYPATI.
ME - Ok ok ok.... so now I got it when you said that you and KJO have been "broking off"!!!!
SRK - winks!!! This is off records dude!!!!! This BROKING stuff is ROCKING dude….
ME- So Shah Rukh, coming to the the main question, how does it feel now that your team has lost IPL2?
SRK- I am on the top of the world!!!!There's no feeling like this one.
ME - I am sorry....
SRK - I am so happy that my team has lost. This gave me an opportunity to come back home feeling bad, cast my vote and get paid for it (literally), dance at a wedding and get better paid... What else could I have asked for!!!! Besides hoardes of interviews!!!
ME - Well, that s a nice way of looking at things Shah Rukh!!!! But would you have been happy if the KKR had won?
SRK - Are you out of your brain's end? What rubbish are you talking? I would have wanted it to end in no different way.
ME - ?????
SRK - How would you feel interviewing Suresh instead of me?
ME - I am sorry, but who is this Suresh? Raina?
SRK - No dude no, he is the guy who owns India Cements who has bought the Chennai team. When I lose, I generate more TRPs than anybody winning. You would care too hoots about who wins, but if SRK loses, it is news. Preity or Shilpa don’t have that much appeal anyhow especially when they are around with their respective boyfriends and both are growing older… though they don’t admit it.
By the way, Nokia, Bellmonte and Pepsi have booked slots during this interview telecast.
HAAR KE JEETNE WAALE KO BAAZIGAR NAHIN, KING KHAN KEHTE HAIN.

Harbo harbo Kamaaibo re!!! Kamaaibo re!!!!!

Sriky