pRACEidential choices - yeh Desh maange NO MORE!!!!

Over the last couple of days, it seems that the entire political fraternity of India have been spending a lot of time over the next President of India. Round Robbin decisions, back and forth campaigning and what not. . Right from suggesting PM Manmohan Singh to Pranobda to Kalam appreciations - MOMata is leaving no stone unturned!!!!!

 

I too have spent some time to create a list of who I would suggest should be the next President of India... and of course with my reasons for each nomination!!!!

 



What a choice of options!!!!

Shri Sharad Rao Pawar

PROS - He will finally be out of politics!!!!! Would that one reason not be enough? Just to add some meat and juice - inflation will come down, grains will not rot, food prices will come down, Swiss banks will downgrade the interest rates offered to Indian black money deposits leading to other people getting their money back into Indian banks, BCCI will be corruption free, Sachin will finally retire and... well... almost all ills ravaging our nation will be cleared.

CONS - He will make more number of foreign trips than Pratibha Patil...- granted. He may accord himself a bigger and more prime real estate as his retirement home post the term - I would give him a city if he wanted!!!!It still ends up being a damn damn good deal!!!!!

 

Amitabh Bachchan

PROS- He will be finally out of movies!!!! Is it not a high time for the thespian to understand that the audience wants to see him.... on Television..... in re runs of his classics and not in Buddhhaa Hoga Ter...whatever it was. He will finally be out of commercials without inundating us every day about a cement or chawanprash brand. He will be doing commercials for the Government of India which will be aired only on DD!!!! On a more serious note - he would make a good speaker and would be looking dapper while receiving a Guard of Honour on foreign shores. He would always be politically, ethically, diplomatically, socially correct. He will finally get a chance to be the Brand Ambassador of India!!!! not just UP or a Gujarat!!!!!He can give a rousing speech on 26th January when he will hoist the Indian tricolour!!!

CONS- He will be out of movies!!!! He will seek for another season and then another season and another season....sorry term!!!! Amar Singh will come back into action. Jaya will be made the Vice President. All his speeches will begin with a mandatory-but-now-done-to-death renditions of Harivanshrai Bachchan's Agneepath.

 

L K Adwani

PROS - BJP will finally get rid of him!!!!! Finally BJP will have a fresh face and youth will drive the party. BJP will stand a strong chance of winning the next elections....BJP will have a strong chance of consolidating Karnataka. BJP will have Narendra Modi as the PM candidate. BJP will....well just get off from stagnancy.

CONS - He will start travelling in a Rath across the country creating a security nightmare. Gadkari will assume more important role in BJP and finally Modi will get his due.

Yeddy

PROS - BJP will finally get rid of him!!!! Karnataka governance will be in more stable hands. There will not be a constant sword hanging on BJP leadership about a revolt. Huge tracts of erstwhile mining lands will be available for redevelopment.

CONS - Same as the CONS- there is hardly any difference on what Yeddy does....perhaps that's why his candidature in the first place!!!!

Anna Hazare

PROS - He will finally stop his anshans. His health will improve. He will bring his Gandhian simplicity into action. He will be travelling the hinterlands of India instead of foreign jaunts. His cronies will have something more meaningful to do in life. Baba Ramdev will go back to what he does best - yoga and asanas.

CONS - Presidential dinners and lunches will be a frugal version of what they are today. Visiting dignitaries will be deprived of tasty Indian meat and fish and lamb and other delicacies. Rashtrapati Bhavan lights will be switched off at 7.30 pm when Anna goes to sleep. This will lead to a decrease in tourism. Ram lila and Jantar Mantar will be rarely booked.

RAJINIKANT

PROS - Just too many to describe.... he will get India to win the Olympics final match against Pakistan in Cricket. He will invade and conquer Pakistan and China later and make them to into India. He will win the US presidential elections. He will be the most stylish President in the history of the world. He will......He will....

CONS - Rajinikant does not become a president. Presidents aspire to be a Rajini. Also, Rajini has been approached by THALAIWORLD - an aggregation of 2.49494 googol galaxies to kindly give his consent to lead them. Rajini is contemplating about it.

Others

Some interesting nominations also came by -

• Sachin (recommended by Aspiring Cricket and Television Oration Registy)
• Modi (recommended by L K Adwani and Sushma Swaraj and Arun Jaitley).
• Sushma Swaraj (recommended by L K Adwani and Modi).
• Suresh Kalmadi (recommended by all the ticket buying fans who attended the CWG).
• Baba Ramdev (recommended by Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi)
• Diggy Raja (recommended by the last remaining sane people in Congress).
• A Raja (recommended by COAI, TAM, TRAI, ITU)
• Mayawati (she recommended herself and got all her statues to sign the nomination).

If you look at all the aspirants in the image- there would be some whom you just don't know. They are unknown to you because they have done nothing in their lives that one should know them. In my opinion- they should be the ideal candidates for this post as this post itself requires one to do nothing!!!!