Continuing my tryst with capturing the life and times of Nandan Nilekani in his new avatar as a Cabinet Minister, here is what he had penned after his first day in the Parliament.
The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter…
The House was in pin drop silence as the Speaker to her Chair. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!!
After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence. Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall. It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it s here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed.
Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!?!?!?!
I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”. Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider.
The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!! MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION. I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!!
The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened.
A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting.
I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved).
The last entry stopped when the House was just about to begin. Let’s see what happened thereafter…
The House was in pin drop silence as the Speaker to her Chair. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!!
After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence. Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall. It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it s here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed.
Azhar told me that he would “fix” me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!?!?!?!
I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book,” The World Markets are flattened”. Since there was no doubt about the “Fixational” capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider.
The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my project’s turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!! MY PROJECT”S FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION. I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!!
The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days’ milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened.
A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting.
I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved).
I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy, “You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Sriky
32 comments:
I'm on National Bench....
too good!
liked your scripting style.
continue the series.
National bench line is a total rocker... :D :D
too good.. keep writing
This story is complete fake
Sir/madam,
this is my imagination running riot. I apologise that I did not put a disclaimer at the end of the article saying that this is not a real event!!!!!
sriky, keep up the good work , very good blog..would like to see the series go on..
nice one....interesting....
liked ur style of writting
This is Complete make up story....I got four emails about this article...this is fake and people are falling for this genuine imaginary script...
This is just awesome. Don't judge the popularity of this post by the number of comments you receive here. The fact that this is being forwarded as a chain mail and many people are actually assuming it's a true story, is the real parameter of your success. It's good that you keep the script realistic and don't let the humor go overboard.
Keep up the good work!
hilarious again ! Just what we needed !
Hey Sriky... its just a fantastic way of writing, loved this article...
'National Bench' (as everyone has already said) is the right word at right place!! :)
Funny as well as true at the same time...
“Fixational” capacities of Azhar - he he he... nice one!
Grt work ... please keep writing.
beautifully written
Very well written. almost believable. Thought I will let you know that this is latest hot forward on the email circuit !
Good effort. Nicely written. For other readers, it is a fake...
Hey Shriky ....Nice One...It compelled me to read all your posts......Awesome....Keep Posting.....
Fake Nandan Nilekenis all around.Claim your identity on the web, Verify your blogger profile and twitter identity- www.crederity.com
Man this is really coooool. National bench concept is now the term to adopt for all our politicians and bureaucrats
very good!... good TP
good one...keep them coming...
Hey Nice One....
Keep it Coming
It is not wise to masquerade as someone else and make such blogs. Your comment on Azhar is not in good taste and I am not sure that anyone in Nandan's capacity will every make such a comment on a blog!
Hi,
I was literally taken in. Sounded so genuine.Hope Nandan Nilkeni gets to read this.
Great piece of writing !! came across your post through one of the mails. googled and landed in your blogspot. excellent piece! book marked your blog.
Very nice post. Specially the last para.
Zeno,
Thanks a lot for visiting my blog and telling the source.
I have seen the other two articles i.e. head and tell of this article and it is amazing.
I really enjoyed reading it.
thanks a lot, Now I will add your blog in my favorite list.
Thanks again,
Nicely done... keep posting!
Nicely done... keep posting!
Nicely done... Good work!
this was nice and diplomatic i guess. :-)....... Keep posting more of this stuff...
Great tongue-in-cheek piece. Keep the series up, it's coming along great!
Keep it up....Impressive writing and witty catches !!
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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