nAIRendra Modi flies high on cloud 9!!!

Ever since Narendra Modi became the Prime Minister of India, he has been on a record-breaking spree of breaking records!!! In the last couple of months, NAMO has had the distinction that many of the world leaders would have been vying for!!!

For starters, he has become the first Prime Minister to visit his own country. Never before, in the political history has any person achieved this dubious distinction. Mr. Modi arrived in New Delhi after 6 months. 

Here are some of Modi's achievements - 

• The first Prime Minister to visit his own nation. 
• The Prime Minister who has visited the most countries in the world. 
• The Prime Minister who has shaken hands with the maximum people. 
• The Prime Minister whose rallies have earned the most. The last one at New York earned a tad more than Pakistan's defense budget amount. 
• The Prime Minister who has changed attire the most in a day. His Japan visit saw him in 28 different kurtas in a single day. 
• The only Prime Minister who attends dinner meetings on fasts. 
• The first Prime Minister to have visited North Korea. Yes!!! Modi made it there also. Modi gifted Kim Dong a copy of Mein Kampf!!! In return, Kim Jong gifted him a visa to return back to India!!!!
• The only Prime Minister to make Visa On Arrival offers in every country he visits. 

Phew!!!! If these were not enough, the only Prime Minister to have visited Mars!!!! Phas gaya re Obama!!!!

Soon after he became the Prime Minister, NAMO embarked upon a mammoth travelathon spanning many countries across the Globe. From Burma to Fiji to Australia to Germany to the US, you name it, he made it.... there. Everywhere he went, the Modi wave followed and what followed it was the frenzied crowds of fans across different nationalities. In the US, Modi was likened to a Rock Star, in Germany, Modi was hailed as Weizenbier. Such was his charisma that the World leaders started worrying if Modi decided to visit their country. He has been leaving a mark behind everywhere. 

When Congress party questioned BJP in the parliament about this supposed PM who was never around, this was the BJP's official statement. 

" Our leader, Narendra Modi has been doing his duty in the same manner and with the same zeal and passion as he was before he became the Prime Minister. Please check on his itineraries during the election campaigns, these foreign trips are nothing in comparison. 
Now, Mr. Modi is embarking on the biggest task of his career, he is planning to become the PM of ROME - the Republic Of Mars and Earth. His last visit was to the Red Planet and the Martians have given him a very warm welcome!!! Modi bhai has convinced them that their future is safe under his rule and Martians will enjoy Visa on Arrival to Earth. As of this moment, we are broadcasting the first recorded video after Modi bhai's visit".

When Qeher came calling!!!

फिर कभी ना आए वह रात केहर वाली,
फिर कभी ना आए वह रात टेरर वाली,
उस रात जब दुश्मन घुस आया बनके मेहमान 
कर दिया उसने मुझे घायल और लहू लुहान 

वह रात जब मेरे किनारों का मिला उनको सहारा,
समुन्दर कि लहरों ने पानी के साथ खौफ्फ़ पहुँचाया;
उसके बाद जो मय्हेम मचा !!! बस याद करने से रूह घबराता है,
दहशत का वह दस्तक कानों में आज भी बजता है,

स्टेशन बन गया था खून के होली का मैदान,
मेरी आन, मेरी शान, मेरा ताज हुआ घायल,
सलाम और शुक्रान मेरे पहरेदारों को,
मेरे दामन को बचाते बचाते कुर्बान की अपनी जान;

बीत गए इस हादसे को छह साल आज,
मेरे घांव आज भी हैं काफी हरे,
निशाँ मिट चुके पर एहसास आज भी नहीं भरे,
पर आज फिर से खड़ा है मेरी शान,मेरी आन , वाह ताज!!!

ना आज़माना और मुझे,
सबर के हद्द सारे कर दिए मैंने पार,
इस बार खबरदार!!!!
क्यों कि पलट के कर दूंगा वार!!!

Netaji's burrDay BASHed UP!!!!

A birthday is always a special day. A day to be happy about oneself. A day of celebrations. A day of spending time with family. And much more. I was quite surprised last week when I got an invite to attend a birthday party. That too in Lucknow, UP- a city I have never visited.

 I was pleasantly surprised. It was an invitation to partake in the 75th birthday of Mulayam Singh Yadav, in a most austere manner with the people of the city. I was a bit unsure. I was not planning to get mobbed and crowd-pushed and jostled and groped in this rather public birthday affair. But none the less, after much deliberations, I decided to go. I was still in two minds. 

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to witness, experience, partake and enjoy for the next two days!!!! 

As I made to the airport, a special counter was set up for Netaji's guests. 

How thoughtful!!! 

A chartered flight was waiting for me. As I boarded the flight, I was mentally planning to hit the sack during the 90 minutes journey from Mumbai to Lucknow. But, it was not to be so. Netaji's hospitality kept me in high spirits throughout the journey. 

How intoxicating!!!

At Lucknow airport, my luggage was separately ferried off and within a few minutes I was out of the airport on my way to a five star hotel. I was told by Netaji's staff that all this was a way for people to show their love for Netaji. How I love the UPites!!! They show their love in the most lavish of manners!!!

The evening was spent in a glitzy gala entertainer of an event performed by the Bollywood A listers who had been brought in for the birthday. As I sat in a select audience, I heard rumours that none of the stars charged a pie. Such is Netaji's relation with the Bollywood. 

How filmy!!!

After a fun-filled evening of entertainment, succulent meat dishes of the famed Lucknowi khaansamas, I had a sound sleep in my suite. 

The birthday cake was brought in the next day. To describe it as being mammoth would be a gross understatement. Besides the size, the spirit of the cake had to be celebrated. It was a gift from the citizen of the state!!! I am yet to come across such a lavish gift from the people to its leader!!! 

How charismatic!!!

The cake was accompanied by 75 candles, 75 flutes of the finest champagne I have ever had in my life and a 75 gun salute. It was so royal!!! The mere sight of Netaji with Akhilesh was a sight to behold. The father-son duo looked completely in control!!!!

How dynastic!!!

The cake was too huge and could not be finished off by Netaji's select invitees. Then Netaji showed a magnanimity befitting the greatest of the leaders of all times. He decided to share the cake with his party workers. 

Thousands of hungry people turned up to have a piece of the Grand Birthday cake. They had to return empty-handed as the state bureaucracy had achieved with the invitees inside could not. They had cleaned up the cake without a single morsel remaining. 

Then was the biggest draw of the event. Netaji with his 40 ministers and Akhilesh sat in a procession in a horse buggy imported specially from the UK for 700,000 GBP. Remember, it is a birthday celebration. The emotion matters, not the expense. It was an amazing scene. 

How humble!!! 

The normal bicycle gave way to a horse cart for that special day. BJP cadres were crying hoarse that the buggy should have been Made in India and not imported. But this was lost over the din of the procession... 

How equestrian!!!!

After the cavalcade of 75 cars, 75 horses and 75000 people covered a distance of 40 kilometers, Netaji addressed a public rally. He spoke about how the downtrodden of the state need to be brought up. How poverty had become an epidemic and how unwarranted show of strength and wealth of a few corrupt was casting a dark shadow over the state of Uttar Pradesh. How funds could be better utilized for public governance projects, medical care and hospitals and basic amenities. 

How schizophrenic !!! 

When questioned about a stampede and an eventual death of a person at the blanket distribution drive, Netaji mentioned," why cant they use heaters if they don't have blankets?" When questioned about some party worker beating up a toll worker, Netaji retorted,"that is why I was against the usage of English. The media has been making a huge noise about my birthday bash. My workers thought that it was OK to bash up somebody on my birthday. That is all!!!"

How Antoinette!!!!

Baba Rampal have you any shame!!!

Baba Rampal, have you any shame?

so much wealth and such a bad name?

Why do you think that you are God?

With all this limelight that you hog,

with so many cases ; so many crimes,

yet you choose to appear sublime?

all your devotees acted as a shield,

as the police turned your ashram into a battlefield;

your ilk never had it better in this nation,

with you all being our netas' fascinations!!

in saintly garbs and your flowing beards,

power centers you were, once - how weird???

God fearing nation that this is, for Gods' sake!!!

Illicit wealth from the innocents; you rake,

instances of your excesses tell a different tale,

in tests of being mere mortals, you fail!!!

One is often awed by your progress speeds,

from Godmen you progress to be middlemen,

after some high stake shady deals and deeds,

you can also end up becoming protected men!!!

as you grow your hordes by hundreds,

your legion of followers abound into a Dera;

a moment comes which one dreads,

when you forget the difference between me and mine, main aur mera,

but such is our indefatigable urge to be suckers,

that your likes will have many a field day more,

till such time that we worship the rational,

it will be Ramdevs and Rampals rampant galore!!!!

Modi is BrisbanNeD from G20!!!

The annual G20 summit came to an end today. Like each year, since its inception in 1999, the event is seen as a 3 day gathering of the major Heads of States of the developed and the developing economies. Many a pact and treaty are signed under the aegis of this strategic event. 

This year, the event was held at Brisbane, Australia. It was the first for Narendra Modi and he did not waste a single moment of it. Right from the moment he arrived till he left Brisbane for Canberra, NAMO hogged the limelight all throughout. 

As soon as he landed in Australia, he was aghast to see that the venue which was cordoned off for the world leaders had some garbage strewn around. Not the one to waste time, he immediately started the Swachh Bharat Swachh Brisbane campaign and got his colleagues to pitch in. 

The world media went Ga Ga over this!!! Indian PM makes Obama and Cameron clean up their acts!!! screamed a tabloid Down Under. 

After this initial round of salvo, NAMO then showed his next move. That of a spirited, happy, warm and friendly side as he greeted each of the world leader with a warm hug or a firm handshake. I believe the more apt word in this context is schmoozed. 

Every person at the summit worth his stature or fame or power wanted to schmooze with the man of the season, the man for all the right reasons - Narendra Modi. He had become the toast of the town. 

His lectures and speeches were heard by one and all in rapt attention. He spoke of black money and the world leaders promised to act promptly. He spoke with the German Chancellor to introduce Sanskrit in German schools. It was promptly accepted. 

By this time, the world leaders were getting an uneasy feeling of being left out. But no one wanted to be the first one to give vent to this feeling. Meanwhile, the NAMO brigade was chugging at furious pace... Literally!!!!

By now, the summit was seeing the first signs of a split. It was NAMO and the G19. The remaining leaders started giving sound bytes which had faint hints about India sabotaging the entire summit for its gains and photo ops. A claim vehemently denied by the Indian spokesperson. 

The final act of NAMO proved to be the icing on the cake. Across cities of Australia, Narendra Modi unveiled statues of India's iconic leader. A leader who was known to rule with an iron hand. A leader known to brook no nonsense. 

Narendra Modi. 

The G20 Summit Coordination Committee will be meeting in the coming days to discuss on how to keep India at bay from such events. 

TO BE CONTINUED...